Tonight I want to write about a great writer who recently told me that everything she writes is bullshit but damn good. The candy coated, all too thought out words that flow like poetry instead of the words that fill her body....the why me's, the how come's, the sadness that fills her every bone.
I have been in this hospital long enough to make a lifetime of friends and tonight I say good bye to one. I am heading home and when I return she will be gone...home to a different life than she had expected, home as a different person. Heart moms (dads too) live a life of uncertainty and more often than we want, a life of heartache. Tonight I got to see an angel...laying perfect in his bed, breathing over a ventilator that he will never come off. His mother standing proudly beside him knowing what a fight he has fought, knowing that he will not win. I cannot even imagine the emptiness. I, as many of you heart moms probably, have planned a funeral for my son several times in my head, with the what ifs, could I continue, who would be there, how would we do it......but I couldnt until today FEEL a little bit of what it would do to me. I love this family....they have been through a lot of what we have....and I am so very sad.
Please keep this family in your prayers...pray for strength to get them through these next few weeks.
Birthday Number Twelve
1 month ago