Thursday, August 06, 2009

Drug addiction......

I just want to scream!!! Tucker has been up most of the night going through withdrawal. It is absolutely horrible to watch. I feel like we are being used as a guine pig, holding things to see how he does..instead of giving him something to help him. We went from A CRAP LOAD of medicine to very little in 3 days....and Tucker is the one suffering. We have played this DAMN game for weeks now, too much, too little...and today we are still playing it. He was on patches, 8.4 mil of ativan every 4 hours, 6.5 mil of methadone every 4 hours, dex drip of 3......now we are on no patches, dex of 2.5, methadone of 4 mil and ativan of 1ml. Can you say I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. I feel so helpless and Tucker is miserable, flipping around in the bed, shaking his head, like his skin is crawling...which I am sure it is. I am so sick to my tummy...I just want my boy back, my happy boy that isnt addicted to drugs.

8 comments:

ABandCsMom said...

I'm sorry he's going through withdrawals. It's horrible to have to watch that.

Carly went through withdrawals too. The nurses thought it was just due to Down syndrome. They refused to listen to my concerns. Until the surgeons nurse came in. She jumped the other nurses up one side and down the other for putting Carly through such terrible withdrawals. They then called pain management in and put her back on pain meds. They then very slowly weened her off. I mean v e r y s l o w l y.

I hear your frustrations and feel for you and mostly for Tucker. I pray this gets handled very quickly.

kimk said...

Like I said, you have been though the scary, now is the hard part. And sad part...it is sad to see your baby be different, it took about 8 weeks for Will to return to his normal self. We were home for at least a month before he started acting himself again, even had been off the methadone and adivan for weeks.
BUT he will come back, I know it seems he wont, but he will. It will take time, its hard to see now, but try to remember that Tucker wont remember this time either.
Can you imagine the grief of parents with teens who did this to them selves with no wonderful benefits of saving their lives with a whole hearts....keep your eyes on the prize, take lots of hot showers, take a break from the room, even if it is only 2 min, and eat comfort foods..and most importantly try to sleep. You deserve to treat yourselves kindly too. YOU WILL GET THRU THIS TOO!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo from Will

Tina B said...

Anna fought the withdrawl after her first surgery. We couldn't figure out why she was so grumpy, agitated, not herself. They even sent us back to ICU to figure it out. They gave her more drugs and she was happy. We too had VERY SLOW weans. It was awful to watch her adicted to all that. Kim's right, every pre-teen or teenager should have to watch that so they understand what they're doing to their body! Tucker got the prize, he'll get through this too.

Cammie Heflin said...

I'm so sorry, poor little guy.

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

Ditto to Kim and Tina. He will get through this and so will you. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Dear Karen, I want you to know that what you are experiencing is a gift from God. LOVE FOR YOUR CHILD!! Tucker is so Lucky to have you for his Mom and Todd for his Dad. I am sorry you have to go through this but it is something that is necessary in some depth. Please Talk to Jesus and ask him to help Tucker to be able to get thru this and to help you too. I know it is easy for me to give advice, but I Know that Our God is a Good God and He hears all our prayers. He is in control. I continue to pray for all of you every day. Love, Mary Ellen

Pam said...

I hate the drug withdrawls. Rhett's have been so bad in the past. It's awful to watch and you just want to take everything away from them. It's just not fair.

We will keep Tucker in our prayers that he will be at peace and not suffering from withdrawls, and that the dr's will find a happy medium for him, so that he can continue to heal and go home!!

Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way too.

Anonymous said...

UGH!!!! SOOOO sorry for all that you are going through...I cant imagine how hard it must be for you all. But you have to know that it will eventually get better and litte TuckMan will be back to his happy dancing self again soon. If there is ANYTHING we can do or send to help you through this time please email us!!
Barb, Teresa, Cole